Article by Gaumatie Jadhav and illustrations by Aanya Sharma
Will I get into college? Will I get good grades? Will every college reject me? What if I don't
get in anywhere? Have these questions popped into my head? Yes, yes, they have. Of course, they have. But have I beaten myself up over it? No, I haven't. Why?
P.C.:Aanya Sharma Well because I know that if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. If I work hard enough and don’t get the results, I know the problem is not me. And I know that this has to do with luck, and your chances of getting into a good college are very low, and all that. But you know what? It's fine. If I don’t get into my dream college, I'll get into some other college. Maybe my life will be a little bit different, but at least my parents save up some more money.
Now, when it comes to school, we can all agree that we don’t really care much about our grades until we get to grades 10, 11, and 12. It’s true, it’s called pressure. When college applications are up in your face, that’s when you realize, “Oh my god, I need better grades.” The biggest problem when we say “I need better grades” is not that you need better grades, surprisingly enough it’s that you’re scared of failure. I am, for sure. I'm scared that I'll be in my parent’s basement until I'm 23 and can’t get a job. And for me, that fear of failure is what keeps me from failing my classes.
To be completely honest with you, I am not great at math. but I’m doing IBDP Math AA HL, only to get into an architecture course. I'm not getting 7s like the other people in my class, I'm getting 3’s. I'm really terrified that I won't be able to improve my grades by the end of this semester. If I don’t do it now, my predicted grades will be so low that I won't be able to apply to college. Mind you, AA HL is one of the hardest IB courses to ever exist, before maybe physics. I know for a fact that if I work hard enough, I’ll be able to get a 6 or a 7. And trust me, I'm trying really hard. I know I'm not there yet, but I'll get there, slowly, but surely. I'll get there. It might take me a little more time than my classmates, but I know I'll do it.
Fear of failure can either drive you or demotivate you. In most people, fear motivates them. Keeps them from failing their classes. Most people are determined to prove themselves to somebody when they say, “You can’t do it” or “I don’t believe in you”. In most cases, this feeds our ego. but if you’re one of those people who gets demotivated when you're told you can’t do something, there are ways to deal with it.
According to Susan Peppercorn, in an article in the Harvard Business Review (sorry for the fancy college reference), There are four ways to deal with Failure:
Redefine failure
Set approach goals
Create a “fear list”
Focus on learning
Now, I know that this is not an educational article, and trust me this is not academic. This is simple plain advice, by Susan.
Redefining failure - failure can come from the fear of looking foolish or doing something wrong. When we define failure, we really are defining what we expect of ourselves. If we end up changing our mentality and redefining what we want from failure, we might be able to see some change.
Set approach goals - In the book Atomic Habits, James Clear talks about how we need to set systems and not goals. What he means by systems, is that we need to focus on the steps we need to take to achieve said goal, instead of only defining our goals. This breaks down our process of achievement. When she says approach goals, what she really means is that we need to set goals that make us look good, instead of setting avoidance goals that make us look like we’re trying to be better.
Create a “fear list” - Susan’s client Alex’s fear list consists of 3 things, a) worst-case scenarios if he fails, b) what he can do to prevent failure, and c) things he could do to repair the consequences of failure. Which later led Alex to realize that walking away would have a bigger consequence than trying.
Focus on learning - Comfort should scare you, and discomfort should be your best friend. When you fail, you learn from your mistakes. When you stop yourself from making those same mistakes again, that’s when you’re learning. That’s when you’re aware of your strengths and weaknesses. Isn’t that what we all want?
This is obviously subjective to different people and their fear of failure. But I would say this list is pretty vague and applicable to most people. So, remember, next time you think “Am I going to fail IB?”, you make your “fear list”, and think if I walk away, I look like a chicken. but if I try, I look like a superhero. But if your goal is becoming a superhero, then I'm sorry but you’re destined for failure.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
1. “How to Overcome Your Fear of Failure.” Harvard Business Review, 10 Dec. 2018, hbr.org/2018/12/how-to-overcome-your-fear-of-failure. Accessed 5 Nov. 2023. (“How to Overcome Your Fear of Failure”) https://hbr.org/2018/12/how-to-overcome-your-fear-of-failure
2. Press, Rob. “9 Barriers to Learning (+How to Overcome Them) | Whatfix.” The Whatfix Blog | Drive Digital Adoption, 7 Sept. 2022, whatfix.com/blog/barriers-to-learning/. Accessed 5 Nov. 2023. (“9 Barriers to learning (+How to Overcome Them)”) https://whatfix.com/blog/barriers-to
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